Every thing I needed to know I learned from the World of Darkness

Och här kommer en underbar gammal klassiker:

It has always been my notion that any system of beliefs should be simple, yet global in its application, if only because under such a system one can justify almost anything. I started with the classics--"Do unto Others," and "The Greatest Good for the Greatest Number," knowing full well that I'd really like to be abused behind my back and that, if they would think about it, the rest of the world would realize that it is certainly in their best interest to be manipulated. Yet I was continually searching for a new credo, one that could justify petty theft. After much searching I found the solution: Wisdom was not to be found in musty philosophies, but in a line of reasonably-priced game books. Everything I needed to know I learned from the World of Darkness. Advice on daily living, basic survival, enlightened self-interest. All could be found in White Wolf's books -- ambiguously presented for maximum personal interpretation.

• - Respect your elders, for they can grind you to dust.
• - Don't play with fire, it does aggravated damage.
• - Say "Thank You" when you kill something, because even if nobody else is around, the spirits are watching.
• - Any hierarchy, no matter how benevolent, will eventually become corrupt and take over the known world.
• - Birth defects, homelessness, rampant consumerism, the hole in the ozone layer, hate, malice, greed, alcoholism, the destruction of the Native Americans, bad television programming, violence in the media and strange chemicals in fast food can all be safely blamed on a supernaturalentity.
• - Almost anything, including artistic disembowelments, can be justified 1) in the name of Gaia, 2) if you're 300+ years old, or 3) if you've been doing it long enough.
• - Everything dies -- Garou, mages, changelings -- but they can come back in Wraith, and major villains can return in the next book.
• - Murder is okay if it's done with style (or, as above, for Gaia).
• - Stygian Iron is forever.
• - Tormenting librarians and accountants is a perfectly acceptable method of artistic expression. So is live rune-carving.
• - The laws of reality are immutable, unless you buy the supplementary rules.
• - It's always darkest before the Apocalypse.
• - Not only are the Garou sexy, they have RULES for being sexy--page 218.
• - Reality is a user-defined parameter.
• - Every alley in the city is the site of some sort of illegal sex trade.
• - When in doubt, blame it on the Nosferatu, or possibly on the Celestial Chorus.
• - The only right (Tradition, tribe, clan, kith, guild) is your (Tradition, tribe, clan, kith, guild) and all other should be (outmoded, eviscerated, diablerized, ignored, Oblivated).
• - Reality is like a parent: It has strict rules which cannot be broken, and it is all set to break them in order to PUNISH your ass.
• - If you can't justify violent crime in the name of Gaia or by dint of obvious natural superiority, change legacies and go Unseelie.
• - Evil ALWAYS gets its own sourcebook.
• - The government isn't a puppet of Big Business, it is a pawn of the Wyrm.

Just think. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everybody simply dressed in black and used Mind ** to get what they want? Wouldn't everything be nicer if all the world's countries would just put up their weapons and conjure a big nasty spirit of destruction to fight their battles for them? No? Well, I think so.

Av: Jacob Williamsson